I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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