Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
