1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
