No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
drinking out of a sandbucket again
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
