her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
