I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
