just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
