she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
