Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
