I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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