brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
