Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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