I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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