So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
