Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
