I just made out with a guy for $7.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
