I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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