I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
