I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i believe in u and ur pee
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
