Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
