sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
