talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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