Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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