I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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