Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
