My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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