Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
