His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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