It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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