Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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