Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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