i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Its about making memories worth repressing
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
