Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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