I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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