Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
