The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I have post one night stand depression
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
