you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
