Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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