No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
