I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude i'm inner monologue high
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
