And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Your penis caused this!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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