when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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