Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
