i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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