the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
