I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
