i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I have demons in me.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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