Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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