This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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