just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
