I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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