woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize