I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Shame is for Republicans.
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