Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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