I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
