yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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