I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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