Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
