so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize