So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
