Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just cropdusted the office
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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