I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
