I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
