I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
