Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My life is pants optional.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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