we're blogging at a bar
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
