so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
