would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
