I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
