sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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