Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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