It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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