I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
